There was one of those glitches in the wires and the sky yesterday, but you probably didn't notice because it was only a problem for subscribers of Virgin Mobile, which repurposes the EE network for its own commercial ends. It went down. For hours. For so many hours that someone had to do the job of pretending to be sorry, going much further than issuing a shrugging GIF and a link to the URL for the service status page.
VM is promising a form of compensation to those who struggled to get their phones working outside in the non-Wi-Fi world yesterday too, and said: "We apologise for the disruption and inconvenience some of our Virgin Mobile customers have experienced today. This was due to a technical issue which we've now resolved. We will be compensating our customers for the loss of service and will let them know the details shortly."
Complaints of not being able to place calls, send texts or access the mobile web came in from Virgin users in places as far apart as London, Bristol and areas of Scotland, so it was bordering on a national-scale of failure. What's the going rate for crap connection compensation anyway? One free gigabyte of streaming? A more relaxed data rollover this month? A special day in which nothing counts as your allowance, not even the torrents? A personal text message apology from the boss including a photo of his sad face? The token assassination of a randomly-selected IT staff member to serve as a warning to all the rest? [Sky News]