An administrative error in the operation of this site's scheduling and allocation tools has left me with the job of writing about Poundland's new makeup range, which the bargain chain's people would like me to compare with rival big name brands like No7 and Topshop Beauty. I am happy to do that, as they do indeed appear to come in the same size and shape of pots and bottles.
Poundland has added 19 new things in small pots and bottles to the aisle of the shop that doesn't sell massive Toblerone equivalents so I never go down it, with the chain claiming that buying 10 of these for £10 gets you small mystery pots of substances that would cost the equivalent of £60 if bought in one of those other shops with aisles I never go down either. I might buy a drink from Superdrug in an emergency, but that's the end of my experience as I clearly don't belong there.
The new Poundland range includes a Kohl pencil probably for drawing eyebrows back on if you've pulled them all out from stress and boredom, a concealer for hiding unshapely noses and ears, a blusher for rosy cheeks like you've been out in the sun or are from a farming family, and something they call a "pressed powder" which I think you snort in the toilet to feel sexy on the inside.