Get Ahead of the Wet Wipes Ban by Cleaning Your Bum With This Gel

By Shabana Arif on at

Despite clear labelling about not flushing baby wipes and their ilk down our loos, people are still doing it, and to avoid another fatberg, one company is offering an alternative when it comes to cleaning bums - be it your baby's or your own.

Wet wipes are a bloody brilliant idea for cleaning people and things, and there's all kinds out there for such purposes, but people are flushing them willy nilly rather than disposing of them properly.

We all remember that absolutely disgusting fatberg that was found blocking London's sewers that was made up of fat and baby wipes, that later became a museum exhibit because you maniacs love this kind of weird, gross shit. So much so, that there was a dedicated FatCam in the Museum of London letting viewers watch the nebulous decompose in real-time. And back in April, 473 bin bags of wet wipes were removed from the Thames shoreline, so clearly there are literacy issues at play, or just a flagrant disregard for the proper disposal of waste.

The point is, we don't care about your excuses, and neither does Satu Laboratory, who has gone ahead and created a wet wipe alternative that will give you the moist cleanliness of a freshly wiped arse without the wet wipe.

The company has created a gel that can be used with toilet paper, so visions of it disintegrating in a soggy mass as you attempt to clean up your bumhole can be put aside. Aside from keeping wipes out of sewers, the gel is safe to flush, and is harmless to the environment and marine life.

"The innovative feature of Satu Gel is the option to use it in combination with any regular toilet paper without immediately damaging the paper," said Siim Saat, founder of Satu Laboratory. "Satu Gel users who do not buy wet wipes any longer have helped to avoid polluting sewage systems and oceans by estimation of over four million wet wipes globally." Plus they have squeaky clean behinds to rival even your own.

As it currently stands, the government is considering banning wet wipes because we can't be trusted to chuck them in the bin rather than the loo, so if you like a shiny hiney, this gel might be right up your muddy little street.