Government Plans to Make Fat Kids Run Around in Circles More Often

By Gary Cutlack on at

The government has some bad news for that sad sack of flab currently three-screening itself to obesity-related death in front of Netflix, a PS4 and whatever the hell TikTok is when it's at home, as increased funding for in-school and after-school physical education could see the kids of the nation forced to perform one whole hour of exercise-related activity every day. Maybe that huge imposition will finally get the youth to rebel against the political elite.

It's because of an action plan the government's excited about today – the School Sport and Activity Action Plan – that sets out the goal of getting teachers and parents to awkwardly shoehorn more sports things into a "young person's daily routine," not least because we all know the benefits getting outside or at least standing up and looking out the window for a bit has on both physical and mental health.

Freeing up school assets and local sports clubs facilities for more out-of-hours play is one of the key ideas within the pilot schemes launching next year, with more money coming from the Department for Education to train PE teachers to be a bit nicer about doing stuff when it's raining; also helping to open school facilities at weekends and during the school holidays. So they can be open and still empty.

Sport minister Mims Davies outlined the impossible ambition of making sport "fun" for people that don't like it and never will no matter how exciting it looks on the telly, saying: "Our plan will help shift the dial in school sport – making lessons more fun and engaging and vitally increasing the number of out of school clubs so that more young people get and stay active." [GOV]

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