Greggs has shared the details for the first half of the fiscal year and its vegan sausage rolls have bolstered sales, much to chagrin of the cretins who took personal offence to a bakery catering to other customers who aren't them.
Total sales for the chain were up almost 15 per cent to £546m, helped along by the introduction of the vegan sausage roll earlier this year. The sausage roll - or tubes as the EU would have them called - is a top seller for Greggs "demonstrating the demand for greater dietary choice in food-on-the-go."
You'll also be able to get your fill of tubes, pizzas, and pastries late into the night with a trial of extended opening hours that will run for a few months into the autumn, although the exact times haven't been detailed. But falling out of a club and stumbling over to Greggs for a sausage and bean pasty is surely going to top every drunkard's wishlist, followed closely by a bucket to puke in, and a bed to collapse into.
"Greggs has delivered an exceptional first half performance, building on the strong finish to 2018. We have continued to make strategic progress with our programmes of investment in infrastructure to support future growth and in developing the products and channels to market that will help achieve our ambition to be the customers' favourite for food-on-the-go," said chief executive, Roger Whiteside.
"Given the strength of our year to date and the outlook, we have decided to increase investment in strategic initiatives in the second half of the year to help to deliver an even stronger customer proposition and further growth in the years ahead. Our expectations for underlying profits for the year as a whole remain unchanged."
Other such initiatives include opening 100 new stores - presumably not in the areas where the 23 stores that were closed are located - and more drive-through locations. The click & collect pilot program is being extended to seven cities, and delivery options include Just Eat now, as well as Deliveroo.
Greggs' plans for world domination seem to be going swimmingly from what we can see, so as long as it keeps those hot pastries coming, it can carry on.