Gardeners both amateur and professional are bemoaning the state of their brassicas this summer, as the rain and heat and general climatic madness have combined to make conditions intolerable for the nation's stock of cauliflower plants.
They're one of the more sensitive plants, see, with any interruption to their growing cycle causing them to bolt. Bolt is gardener-speak for go-to-shit, usually in a stalky and tall and weird way that causes them to lose their traditional brain shape. Apparently there are shortages of cauliflowers in the UK now and prices are on the up as they're imported to meet demand, so the sorts of people who don't stride straight through the veg section to the discounted doughnuts are having a bit of a crisis.
The British Growers Association wants us to feel sorry for Lincolnshire farmers ploughing wonky caulis straight back into fields and said: "Crops can withstand a reasonable amount of variation in weather but the conditions in June were too much and as a result crops have suffered, and this is leading to a shortage of supply." [BBC]