Can you be funny enough to make Poundland's audience laugh? Probably. If so, you might be able to sell the fruits of your imagination, as the discount chain is looking to hire a freelance funny-person to spice up its product listings.
The official job title is Gag Writer, and seeing as both writing and being funny are jobs everyone thinks they can do and often do do for free, there's no mention of a salary; it's a freelance position, so the winner will be paid per bundle of funny things about soap, lightbulbs, candles, jars influenced by Kilner, spatulas, massive knock-off Toblerones etc.
The job listing makes mention of Christmas crackers too, so that's the level to aim for. Pub funnyman league division three. Adept at passing off Peter Kay's material as your own. They're not looking for 3,000 words of Stewart Lee and references to the nomadic lifestyles of the Beaker people. Won't fit on the labels for a start.
Poundland intends to take the three best applicants up to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe too, where they'll be given the chance to perform a stand-up comedy routine to company bosses, before being granted the honour of doing their material in a Poundland branch as shoppers look on, in horror. [Poundland]