Starbucks Basic Bitches Are Getting Frosty This Autumn With Cold Brew PSLs

By Shabana Arif on at

Winter is coming. But not before glorious autumn has had its chance to shine, ushering in the advent of all things pumpkin-themed, including Starbucks' PSL – that's Pumpkin Spice Latte, if you're not down with the kids – which is now getting a cold brew incarnation, because nothing is sacred.

Originally a delightfully sweet and toasty spiced beverage to warm up your cockles on a crisp morning, the PSL has become synonymous with basic bitches everywhere, because god forbid we just let people enjoy things without pissing all over their parade.

Starbucks shook things up a but with the iced version of the autumnal beverage, just in case you wanted to freeze your tits off in the morning instead with pumpkin spiced ice sludge, and now the PSL is being subjected to the recent - but by no means new - coffee shop trend of cold brews.

The Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew has been added to the chain's current cold brew selection and sees its regular cold brew coffee "sweetened with vanilla syrup, topped with a pumpkin cream cold foam and a dusting of pumpkin spice topping."

It comes in at 250 calories which should be superfluous information for those of you already choosing to guzzle down the drinks at Starbucks. The jig is up and you should just embrace getting a large portion of your recommended daily calorie allowance from a jumped-up coffee.

Sadly, you can't get the Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew on the UK menu just yet, but you could ask the barista to attempt to whip you up a facsimile of it with the ingredients on hand and see how that pans out for you. Or embrace your basic bitch and get a snuggly PSL, just hot enough to scald the face of the next smug twat who thinks it's appropriate to weigh in on your choice of hot drink.