Apple Card Gets Unbelievably Pretentious Range of Cases so You Can Remind People How Much of a Twat You Are

By Shabana Arif on at

Apple announced its fancy schmancy credit card back in March and it's so fancy, you're being encouraged not to touch the bloody thing, as evidenced by these ridiculous new card cases.

Apple Card is rolling out in the US already with pretty much everyone and their hipster dog getting approved and while it's not on our shores quite yet, we can at least observe how precious the company is being about its new titanium card. It's issuing instructions on how to clean it and what kind of material your wallet should be made out of in order to protect it – i.e. not the usual fabric that almost wallets are made of, and you can forget about putting in your pocket, you absolute savage.

Thanks heavens then for Apple Card cases, a multipurpose box designed for you to simultaneously ferry your credit card around in while signalling what an absolute twat you are to everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Kerf has seen an opportunity to capture the pretentious pillock market, and is offering a range of wooden Apple Card cases priced between $60 and $140 that you can engrave with text or an image, because who doesn't want to carry a wooden block around in their pocket or bag?

Alternatively, dbrand is offering $5 skins which is still ludicrous frankly, and if you've had a bout of brain damage recently, why not head over to Gray and pick up one of its Vandium Titanium cases ranging from a paltry £413 to a tad more extravagant gold-plated case coming in at £1,078. Who the fuck is buying these things?

If you were worried that Apple products were losing their profile of being owned by a bunch of jumped-up little try-hards, fear not; whipping out one of these accessories will cement your status as a hipster douchebag in the minds of anyone who wasted a hot minute thinking you were a normal human being. Phew! [The Verge]