An entire nation faces being left with its pants round its ankles and one hand out the door, yelling for the delivery of some kind of soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent salvation, if no-deal Brexit goes ahead at the end of this month.
That's because Essity, which produces Velvet and Cushelle toilet paper for the UK, has warned that, while it is developing "robust contingency plans", its ability to continue to supply bum-fodder might not withstand the long-term border delays or panic buying expected in the event of Britain's no-deal departure from the EU.
Their warning comes after Plaid Cymru MP Jonathan Edwards used a written question in parliament last month to ask UK government minister Simon Hart how long stocks of toilet paper would last in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Hart's answer was about as comforting as the rough stuff you had to endure in school bogs:
In the event of no deal the Government will prioritise the flow of goods at the border while continuing to take a risk-based approach to controls and checks on goods to minimise additional friction.
Although to be fair, when it comes to toilet paper, we all want to minimise additional friction. [The Irish Times]