A socially inadequate dragon is the star of the 2019 John Lewis Christmas advert, with the department store chain introducing "Excitable Edgar" to the nation today, in the two-minute CG-fest it traditionally releases to mark the Thursday in November upon which you're supposed to start getting stressed and begin fantasising about walking away from all your commitments.
If this is the last thing in the world you're likely to click on, we'll describe the music as being Can't Fight This Feeling by the band Bastille, tell you it gets sad because the dragon ruins winter and Christmas for everyone by continually emitting fire – surely a metaphor for toxic internet culture, well done John Lewis, eye on the ball there – but then, of course, there's a happy ending.
Well there probably is, I had to stop watching because my teeth were starting to creak.
So that's why Susan is crying as her desk today. And of course there is a toy of it. A toy of an advert for Christmas. This country. The sooner Nigel Farage is installed as President by the military and the invasive foreign celebration of "Christmas" is binned in favour of a traditional English pagan festival based around the winter solstice, the better. [YouTube]