Royal Mail Caught Reading Kids' Private Letters to Santa

By Gary Cutlack on at

Staff at the Royal Mail have been tearing open letters addressed to Santa, in blatant disregard of GDPR regulations. The result of their tampering is a list of the presents the kids of the nation most want, and there's bad news for my children as "lovely jumpers" does not feature in the top ten.

The number one most-requested present from children who have no idea that Santa is operating to a budget is a games console, although Royal Mail denied the video game hardcore of a breakdown as to which particular games console was the most popular. There's quite a big difference between a budget Xbox One and a Nintendo Switch, one of which may ruin Christmas if the other was in fact requested.

Number two was Lego. Number three was a bike, which is nice to see. Look at them, imagining they might be allowed out on it unaccompanied and choosing practical outdoors presents they innately know there's a greater chance of receiving. Number four was books, which they only put on there because they know they're supposed to, which again is quite clever and perceptive of them. In fifth place is "scooter" which won't happen. Forget it. Maybe when you're 12. No it isn't fair, is it? If Christmas was fair, I wouldn't be the one paying for everything. And where's the Lego Apollo 11 I keep asking for? Exactly.

The first branded item on the list is Animal Alley Giant Unicorn in sixth position, so well done to whoever's been doing the PR for that one on behalf of Argos. Better order in another 100,000. Seventh is a mobile phone. No way. You're getting dad's old 2013 Motorola G that he's been keeping safe, when you turn 16, without a data allowance. [Independent]

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