Subway Launches Line of Home Scents No One Asked For, Starting With Cheesy Garlic

By Shabana Arif on at

I think someone's been snorting the Chipotle sauce, because this reed diffuser is plain bonkers.

Subway has shared the scents that Brits love to have wafting through their homes, and freshly baked bread was up there, with 67 per cent of people bloody loving it. With that tidbit in hand, the sandwich chain summoned the best and brightest in its R&D department, and countless hours/ weeks/ months later, we have this: the Ultimate Cheesy Garlic Bread Reed Diffuser.

If there's a smell that's synonymous with a clean, welcoming home, it's garlic and cheese. Forget the smell of ground coffee, cinnamon, vanilla, and Christmas trees - that over half of Brits picked as their favourite smells. The pungent aroma of curdled milk and sulfurous garlic is where it's at. Divine.

"Our Ultimate Cheesy Garlic Bread is a huge hit with our guests; they can’t get enough of it! So we wanted to find a way to give them more of what they really want this Christmas," said Colin Hughes, Subway UK's country director, completely missing the fact that we don't all necessarily want out homes to smell of our favourite foods. Blue cheese lover? Why not treat yourself to a Stinking Bishop plugin? There's a time and a place, Colin. And my house isn't it.

"Why should fans have to fill their houses with the same old festive scents, when they could bottle up the smell of their favourite indulgent Subway treat? We predict Ultimate Cheesy Garlic Bread could become the scent of 2020!”

100 prototype bottles have been made so far for the purposes of a trial run before the diffusers' national launch in 2020. They'll be presented in a gift box with a discreet version of the Subway logo on the packaging.

I'm still not convinced this isn't a joke. I love cheesy garlic bread. Do I want my house to reek of it? 100 per cent not. But knowing how long these ideas take to filter through corporate, perhaps this is an April Fool's that's only just been approved, and we'll all have a good laugh after Christmas.