The ocean is full of aquatic horrors that leave one pondering whether there actually is a God.
As it turns out, it's also full of Penis Fish, and thousands of them just washed up onto a random beach, which is absolutely cursed now.
Actually named Fat Innkeeper Worms (yes, really), they were found washed up en masse on Drakes Beach in Marin County, in the US state of California, on 7 December.
According to Nerdist, they were discovered by a bloke named David Ford who happened upon the pulsating fish as seagulls tried to devour them. Horrifying.
The Fat Innkeeper Worm (or Urechis caupo) got its name due to the giving and selfless way that it feeds.
It essentially digs a hole on the ocean floor and sets up a 'mucus net' that will trap food particles. The Penis Fish will then retract the net and slurps up all of the nutrients from the particles. Since its unable to consume large particles, those will be left behind as a treat for other sea life.
And in case you wanted to double down on the NSFW details, the fish makes waste by squirting out poo pellets from its feeding tube. Delicious.
Here are some closer looks at our old mate Penis Fish. We highly recommend you hit play on the videos if you want to know what it's like to stare into the soul of Satan himself.
Meanwhile, in other gaming news...the Dick Stranding has begun?
— Cory Barlog (@corybarlog) December 13, 2019
— SFGate (@SFGate) December 12, 2019
— New York Post (@nypost) December 12, 2019
— Роман Федорцов (@rfedortsov) August 17, 2018
If you were hoping to cop a glimpse of the Penis Fish in Britain, you sadly can't. They're only found in a distinct area of American coastline between Oregon and California.
While horrifying to bear witness to, it's weirdly comforting to know that the world can deliver harmless displays of fucked-up-edness. All hail the Penis Fish. [Nerdist]
Gizmodo Australia is gobbling up the news in a different timezone, so check them out if you need another Giz fix.