Greggs Hands Staff £7m Meaty Slice of Profits

By Gary Cutlack on at

All of the heroic workers within state meal provider Greggs are to receive a cash bonus in their pay packets at the end of the month, as the company rewards staff with a share of the enormous profits it continues to make.

The £7m bonus fund will be split equally among all staff regardless of rank and if they spend their days standing up wearing a hairnet or sitting in an office trading pork futures on a Dell OptiPlex, with everyone who's been with the business since last March receiving the £300 thank you and well done reward. People who joined Greggs since March get £75 for each completed quarter they've been loyally handing out the baked goods and manning the coffee valves.

As for ways to stop the Greggs juggernaut? The firm says the only foreseeable problem it faces is in rising pork costs, seeing as China's slaughtered literally millions of the poor piggie beasts in an effort to stop the spread of swine fever, and the cost of the meat is therefore rocketing. Perhaps hence the newfound love of vegan products, eh? [Guardian]