In case you didn't get the memo, it's feckin' freezing out there, and Nokia has the perfect phone for the cold snap apparently.
Chuck that Samsung Galaxy Note 10 into the bin because it's cold outside and no other handset could possibly withstand the inclement British weather. Who cares if you spent hundreds of pounds on a new iPhone? There's been a cold weather alert, goddammit. It's practically useless! Thank fuck for Nokia and its 800 Tough. We can all breathe a sigh of relief. Phew!
I don't know what it is about PR emails and nonexistent offers today, but they're coming thick and fast - like this stingy free gravy offer from KFC. What the fuck am I supposed to do with a pot of gravy, guys? How is that making my Blue Monday better? The most recent example is this doozy from Nokia, citing the sub-zero temperatures we all enjoyed last night before harping on about how durable the 800 Tough is in a cold snap.
If I'm trekking about in extreme -20C temperatures, it's good to know I'll have a working phone to call someone on to tell them to pick me the hell up, with plenty of blankets and a gallon or so of hot chocolate. If I tumble off a 1.8m high precipice, I might not be intact, but my phone will be. Fan-fucking-tastic news. And should I find myself submerged in 1.5m water for 30 minutes, my bloated corpse will be positively thrilled to know that once again, my smartphone is fine.
I guess my issue here is that if you're going to use the cold weather to flog your phone, citing Met Office alerts as if you actually give a shit about people's safety, you'd better bloody well make it somewhat relevant with a discount, rather than a shameless self-promotion. The handset is not all discounted from its regular price tag of £109.99, and you can find it on Amazon in Black Steel, where it has 2.9/5 stars.