How to Avoid the Allure of Porn When You're Working From Home

By Tom Pritchard on at

With coronavirus making businesses reconsider whether their staff really need to commute to an office to get their jobs done, lots of people are suddenly finding themselves working at home. It's a big transition if you're not used to it, and there are plenty of obstacles to deal with if you're in your own house and not surrounded by colleagues.

One of them is the sheer amount of porn that is lurking about on the web. You never had so much time to go looking for videos of this ilk, especially if your work-free time usually has to deal with things like taking care of children or going to the gym. The temptation is there, and we have a few tips and tricks to make sure you stay away from the porn and actually do some damn work.

1. Don't Look at the Porn

When it comes to avoiding temptation, the first barrier you can erect (pun fully intended) is to not to actually start looking at the porn. After all you can't be distracted by porn if the porn isn't actually open. So don't open the porn! That can only tempt you, and before you know it your entire morning has been wasted.

2. Stay Busy

You can't go wasting time watching dirty videos if you're too busy to actually go off and look for them. So make sure to stay busy with your work, and making sure you have enough activities to keep you occupied and away from whatever is trending on Pornhub on that day.

3. Wear Clothes

Not only is it a bit too cold to be hanging around the house naked, wearing clothes adds an extra barrier between you and your bits. Making it harder to enjoy the porn means you're less likely to get distracted by it, after all.

Photo by Jonas Jacobsson on Unsplash

4. Go to Starbucks

You can't go to the office, but you don't have to work at home. As clichéd as it may be, working from Starbucks will help you keep your hands clean, so to speak. For starters it has plug sockets and free WiFi, and you aren't going to be tempted to look at naughty stuff while you're out in public. Plus even if you do Starbucks has already banned porn from its free WiFi networks.

That way the only distractions you need to worry about are the screaming children that aren't in school, and the constant need to use the toilet caused by all the coffee you feel obligated to drink.

5. Use Parental Controls

So setting parental controls up for yourself is only a brief barrier, since you have the knowledge and ability to turn them off again. But in case your mind wanders and you automatically head over to xHamster the block should pop up and remind you that you have better things to do.

Our friends at TechRadar have covered which parental control software is best, so you know what you should try.

6. Work in the Same Room as Your Flatmates

If you can stand to be around each other all the time, sitting in the same room as your flatmates can really avoid temptation. As long as they're not that special kind of flatmate that's better described as a partner or spouse.

You're in the same room together, and unless you're willing to cross a major boundary (my guess is that you won't) that will keep your mind on the straight and narrow.

If you don't have flatmates working from home (or any, for that matter), you can always try...

7. Set Up a Group Conference Call With Your Colleagues

It's the same sort of logic here, though not having flatmates to help you avoid temptation would be a real bummer. Thankfully there are ways to keep in touch with your colleagues remotely, and whether you're using Slack, Microsoft Teams, or even plain old Google Hangouts, you can set up a video conference call to keep tabs on each other.

At the very least this also creates a similar atmosphere to the office, where everyone would be swearing and talking amongst themselves anyway.

8. Drink Tea Instead

You can't watch porn if you're constantly making cups of tea for yourself, and then constantly going to the toilet to deal with the amount of fluids and caffeine you keeping pumping into your system.

9. Keep a Photo of Jesus on Your Desk

Jesus is watching, and he's very upset that you're molesting yourself to that video of the plastic surgery obsessed porn star. Stay away from that filth. Do it for Jesus.

If you don't believe in Jesus, swap it out with a picture of your mum instead.

10. If All Else Fails, Use Your Lunch Break

Porn is fun, and of course being on your own in the house away from your colleagues can be tempting. But you have a lunch break for a reason, and if you must go about watching the porn you should do it during your employer-mandated down time. It's not like you're going to be at it for the full hour, so you still have time to get some lunch after. Just make sure to wash your hands first, okay?