People who think food mainly arrives in a van as if they're being fed like a pet are finding it impossible to order through Ocado right now, as the online-only supermarket has closed its web site to have a think about how it can cope, in these times when everyone wants 12 of everything it has bringing to them right now, or at least between 11am and 12pm on Saturday at the very latest.
It's not due to running out of stock, thankfully, as the supermarket says it's simply fully booked for the entirety of the foreseeable future, so there's no point keeping the site up and having it constantly DDoS-ed by shoppers desperate for a delivery slot to magically appear because someone ahead of them's died. The main inconvenience this triggers is that it means those who have successfully placed orders may no longer edit them, and if that's your biggest problem right now it's probably not worth writing a column for the Guardian about, as people might not be on your side with the sympathy.
The supermarket explains: "We're managing a simply staggering amount of traffic to our website right now and more demand for products and deliveries than we can meet. Our first priority has to be to keep our service up and running and to play our part in feeding the nation."
It also thanked its drivers and warehouse staff, who, along with all the other delivery people and stackers of the nation, are going to emerge from all this sweating and dirtied but heaped with glory, and shall be decorated by the Queen with nothing less than MBEs for their services to getting food out. [Ocado via Metro]