Mothers' Day is a lovely thing for some people, an obligation for some, and a total kick in the teeth for others.
For those of us whose mothers were absent or abusive, and those of us who've lost our mums and would rather not have said loss waved in our faces, it can be a day of pain and sadness.
For those people – and I'm one of them – Giz UK wanted to make a different kind of gift guide. If you're not buying for your mother for whatever reason, you deserve to use that money to treat yourself instead. You don't need an excuse to buy yourself a present, of course, but "I don't have anyone to buy for on Mothers' Day so I bought myself something" is pretty bloody hard to argue with even for the most frugal.
Plus the high street and small businesses really need it right now. There you go, buying yourself something cool is now officially an Act of Good. Go forth and splurge.
1. That thing you've wanted since you were a kid
What did you put on your Christmas list and never get? Buy it for yourself now. Whether it's a Boglin, a She-Ra duvet cover or, in my case, a Barbie blender, you don't have to rely on a parent to tick off your desires. You're a grown-up now, you can buy stuff yourself – even if said stuff is technically for kids. And even if it's not technically available anymore – this is what eBay's for.
You've waited long enough, order that slushie-making snowman now.
This is a US site but it sells to the UK – and we should know, we own basically everything they make.
They also make earrings shaped like that S thing we all used to draw for no reason and a pretty amazing recycling bin bag, amongst many other things. Get yourself something mum just wouldn't understand. [Shop here]
You deserve all of the hugs this Mothers' Day, and you don't need to get them from no stinkin' humans. Weighted blankets are a wonderful way to relieve anxiety: filled with glass beads in little pockets, they're just heavy enough to feel like gravity is bearing down on you, like the world is holding you close. It's a kind of full-body hug that feels amazing and makes it really easy to fall asleep, just like being in someone's arms.
Ideally, you want one that's about 10% of your body weight, so Firebox does three weight options, all £199.99 (sorry, weighted blankets are pricey AF!). [Get it here]
Remember these?! You could drive your parents completely batty by leaving the sound on. Muahaha.
Well, the legendary handheld Tiger games are having a revival, so you can now buy brand new ones again just like in the nineties. This one is Sonic the Hedgehog 3, but there are lots of others on the way for £18.99. [Get it here]
5. Bubble bath
No, not bubble bath, bubble bath. An ingenious combination of products, these bottles can be poured into your bath but also used to blow bubbles with the included wand. Choose from Seabreeze, Grapefruit & Orange or Jasmine scents.
No need to ask permission – whatever trauma led you to this article makes the perfect excuse. For our money, it's got to be the OG Nintendo Switch, but we wouldn't judge you for buying a Sega Megadrive off eBay either.
7. And a game
Might as well go the whole hog. Animal Crossing New Horizons is out before Mothers' Day, and promises more "squee" than you can handle. Like the rest of the Animal Crossing series, it also has a benevolent 'mother' character, which might be nice right about now. [Get it here]
8. Something really cool and completely pointless
The best kinds of things. This particular doodad is a Flux tube, a fun desk fiddle toy / magic trick that allows you to demonstrate Lenz's Law and pretend to slow down time any time you like. Behold:
SO WEIRD. [Get it here].
9. A subscription to Disney+
Crappy parents often use the TV (or, these days, the iPad) as a babysitter. Well, you'll show them: get yourself a subscription to the brand new Disney+ when it finally comes out in the UK on the 24th and you'll be able to watch all of this goodness (seriously it's a huge list). Which should keep you perfectly occupied during the coronavirus lockdown, whether you have human company or not. [Get it here – it's cheaper if you sign up before the 23rd]
10. Some Lego
It's now officially OK to be an AFOL (adult fan of Lego) because it's got an acronym. Also because we said so. Which means it's time to buy yourself that epic set you've had your eye on for years.
11. A massive bunch of flowers
Or one that'll fit through your letterbox (yep, that's a thing that exists).
Why should only mothers get flowers? You deserve some too. [Get them here]
(DO NOT BUY LILIES IF YOU HAVE PETS, THEY ARE POISONOUS).
12. A really cool night light
It's OK to still want a lovely, reassuring glow by your bed as a grown-up, especially if you had a hard childhood and still have nightmares (C-PTSD is real and it sucks).
This lamp is shaped like a star from the Super Mario games, to help you feel invincible. [Get it here]