Government Clarifies Coronavirus Lockdown Exercise Guidelines for the Idiots in the Back

By Shabana Arif on at

It seems that there's been a failing by the government to relay its lockdown measures effectively, because it's taken for granted that British citizens will understand simple instructions like STAY HOME and don't swan off for a day out in the middle of a fucking lockdown.

For those of you who seem to have forgotten already, the lockdown was announced last week with a simple set of rules to follow:

  • Shopping for basic necessities as infrequently as possible
  • One form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household
  • Any medical need
  • To provide care, or to help a vulnerable person
  • Travelling to and from work but only where this is absolutely necessary, and cannot be done from home

There's also a list of things not to do, like hanging out in groups of more than two people, for example. To enforce these rules, the government has granted the police an unprecedented amount of power to deal with those in violation of this list, including handing fines up to £960 and making arrests.

Despite all of that, through a combination of sheer idiocy on the part of some people, and a lack of clarification from the government to ensure the message is loud and clear, some people are still taking it upon themselves to get in the car and drive miles away for their exercise. It's a lockdown. You shouldn't be driving anywhere for recreational reasons, as if nothing has changed. The frustrating thing is it's absolute plonkers like this guy that are just handing the government reasons to roll out more invasive, draconian measures, with more severe consequences.

We've still got two weeks to go before an update on the country's quarantine status, and in the interim, we've received updated guidelines around how to take exercise, use 'green spaces', and stay away from other people. Some of us have already managed to figure this out for ourselves after we heard that the country is - say it with me - in lockdown. Let's review:

  • stay local and use open spaces near to your home where possible – do not travel unnecessarily
  • you should only go outside alone or with members of your own household
  • keep at least 2 metres apart from anyone outside your household at all times
  • gatherings of more than two in parks or other public spaces have been banned and the police will enforce this
  • if you have a garden, make use of the space for exercise and fresh air
  • take hygiene precautions when you are outside, and wash your hands as soon as you are back indoors

Whether or not you think driving to a nearby forest would be better to walk the dog, because there's less people around than on the streets blah blah is irrelevant. By touting the new rules - which we all think suck - you're putting everyone else at risk of more severe lockdown rules and harsher punishments. Don't be a selfish git.