I Cut My Hair With a Vacuum Cleaner and I Think I Screwed Up

By Tom McKay on at

The road to haircut hell is paved with good questions. Questions like: Is the coronavirus pandemic the Flowbee’s time to shine?

With the country under social distancing and quarantine orders and non-essential businesses shuttered, goods that are useful to people confined to their homes are selling like hotcakes. That includes toilet roll, weight lifting equipment, the Nintendo Switch, and, apparently, the Flowbee home haircutting device.

The concept is simple: The Flowbee is a set of massive, adjustable trimmers that connect to your vacuum cleaner, thus enabling you to cut your own hair and clean up the mess at the same time. It is not a coincidence that this product is also marketed to dog groomers.

With barbershops shut down, the Flowbee seemed like a reasonable alternative to going at my hair with scissors or normal clippers – especially as it bills itself as the best way to get a medium-length haircut. Evidently, I’m not the only one who thought so. It’s currently sold out on its official website and Amazon. Older models are selling on eBay at considerable markups over its normal price of $99 (£80) to $140 (£113), but we managed to find one online for $80 (£64). Being in desperate need of a trim, I volunteered to go under the hose.

Flowbee bills itself as a “Precision Home Hair Cutting System.” After using it, I have come to think of it as a terrifying precision home hair disposal system. I cannot say if this is truly the Flowbee’s fault or the result of my own poor comprehension of user manuals, but I can confirm that I have much less hair than before. Watch the video above and you tell me: Should I have gone with dog shears instead?