Pornhub Data Shows New Lockdown Rules Aren't Really Changing Our Wanking Habits

By Tom Pritchard on at

It's not really news to say that being stuck inside on a lockdown was sending people flocking to the porn sites, especially the porn sites that offered free access to their normally-paywalled premium content. But lockdown is slowly being relaxed in England and (to an extent) Northern Ireland, while Scotland and Wales continue with stricter measures that were imposed at the end of March. How has this affected the porn-watching habits? Apparently not that much.

Pornhub recently updated its coronavirus statistics, showing us how the pandemic is affecting web traffic in countries and cities across the world. And they've published the data for the UK's four constituent countries, so we could have a look at what's been going on. So we took the data for the individual countries and put it on a graph, which is embedded below.

Yes it's small, sorry about that, but it was all Google Sheets would give me. In any case it is interactive, so you can see exactly how the figures compare on a day to day basis. But as a general trend, it seems things are generally rather static, no matter what the government says and how many rules Dominic Cummings believes he's entitled to break. Though it's pretty clear that Northern Ireland really loves its porn. And so did Scotland at first, but those lot seem to have calmed down.

Obviously, as we've talked about before, there was a huge spike in traffic in all four countries in the days after Boris instigated lockdown measures. But then things settled off in the week following that ruling, and trends haven't really changed. Every country is on Pornhub more than the usual average – that's a given in these circumstances – but even softening the lockdown and bank holidays don't seem to be bucking the trend.

The days following the lockdown extension on 16th April actually saw a dip in porn viewing in Scotland, England, and Northern Ireland, though the Welsh apparently saw it as a great opportunity for some self-gratification - with figures 20.9% above average on 17th April, compared to just 9.6% above normal the previous day.

The first bank holiday weekend of the month (8th-10th May) did see a dip in traffic, but so have weekends in general for reasons we can't fathom from this data alone. The same happened the following bank holiday weekend (23rd to 25th May), which saw a large dip in all four countries on Saturday and Sunday. But that seems to be the weekend thing again, because it shot back up again in England and Northern Ireland on Bank Holiday Monday itself.

England did see a small dip on the week following confusing instructions about the easing of lockdown on 10th May, but for the most part it wasn't a massive drop suggesting that everyone gave up on the idea and all went outside. Even if they had, a rise in traffic the following week mean't they weren't at it for very long. And the Northern Irish were apparently their standard horny-in-lockdown selves.

And for the UK as a whole, well the numbers aren't actually that different from the traffic for England alone. Which probably makes sense, since there are more people in England than the other three. There are some deviations, sure, because that's how averages work, but it's a bit freaky to see:

And for reference, here's the UK compared to the other three countries. Excluding England because it got its own graph and five lines is too difficult to see properly.

So aside from that spike at the beginning, changing lockdown rules haven't really affected the wanking habits of the people of the UK. Not yet anyway, because who knows what's going to happen as England keeps pushing the economy to reopen and Dominic Cummings keeps going off on random drives for no good reason. Though maybe Northern Ireland should calm down a bit during the week, so much extra porn can't be good for you.