Dating App Badoo Introduces AI Peen-Screening

By Holly Brockwell on at

If you've ever been a woman on a dating app, the internet, or just in the world, you've likely had a manky piece of man meat presented to you against your will. Dick pics are a huge problem on social media sites and dating platforms, and it's one of those things that Silicon Valley hasn't rushed to fix because it doesn't affect straight men.

The dating app Badoo has decided to do something about the whole sorry situation, and give dick pics the shaft.

Its new safety feature uses AI to spot dicks, and give them the boot. Sadly not literally.

Instead, it'll tell you that it thinks you've received a skin sleeve, and ask if you want to view it or not. If you're at the point in the relationship that you're still talking via dating app rather than something more personal like WhatsApp, likely you don't want it, so this will probably be a handy addition for Badoo users.

Sadly, the company has elected to call the feature Private Detector. We get it, but what a missed opportunity.

Some suggestions:

  • CockBlocker (obviously)
  • Yeet That Meat
  • PeenScreen
  • WoodChopper
  • Don't Download Choad
  • DingusSlingus
  • NoBoneShown
  • MeatDelete
  • Organ Grinder
  • Todger Dodger
  • ErectEject

And my personal favourite, Spam Filter. It's junk mail, after all.

Badoo has released a video to publicise the feature, which is surprisingly funny and stars Big Narstie (keep watching):

"Build a vibe and get consent first" – well said, Mr Narstie.

Private Detector apparently has an accuracy rate of 98 per cent, meaning only two per cent of pork swords slip through. In other words, just the tip.

Main image: Toa Heftiba Şinca from Pexels