But what if they're just reading out tweets of what someone with 37 followers said, as is the grim trend nowadays?
Apparently we all like watching the washing go round.
Says his career was ruined by not getting a top grade qualification.
Used to make £600k a year. Now makes £34m a year.
There appears to be a nationwide shortage of cheese advent calendars.
To travel first class.
Or whatever the underground equivalent of a storey is.
Beware fake and pretend bargains.
Sausage roll scandal limps into week two with Sauce Christ.
Will fence them off so people who paid more can stroll on ahead of the commoners.
£3m to be exact.
Puts on a disguise and gets Ubers everywhere instead.
Of course there's a terrified human on board with hands hovering over the wheel.
Think he'd rather be back in the days of bulletin boards.
And using Dyson time to scout other investment opportunities.
© Future Publishing Limited, Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.